[Visual: faux-French menu from the Aberly dorm dinner this week (note the "Jello vert. . .liturgicalement correcte")] :)
So externally everything is peachy. Especially this: I got a 99 in Greek. Definitely fantastic. . .I passed with flying colours.
Tomorrow I'm preaching at Martin Luther in Bergton.
In order to get there, I'm driving all by myself for a two-and-a-half hour road trip home.
When I return to Gettysburg, I have friends here waiting to greet me warmly.
Amazing things that I never would have predicted a year ago. Driving?! Preaching??? Friends after two weeks? That doesn't sound like me. And yet here I am, myself still, but doing things the former Melissa could not have imagined for herself.
Why, then, am I melancholy? Why are you cast down, O my soul?
It's because it's the one-month anniversary of me leaving Iona. I'm scared of not seeing anyone for a while. I hate the idea that now half the vollies there have no clue who I am. . .not that they need to. I wish I were still in the midst of that experience, that I could have it again. But I can't, even if I forced it, because my best friends cannot be there any longer.
I talked with Katie a little last night about moving past the gift of Iona, which helped, even if she feels like I was talking myself in dark circles of depression. Last night was indeed bad, but here I am this morning, having refrained from making destructive decisions in the meantime. I hope that that's at least something.
Anyway, time for my journey home. God, please keep me safe, and help me grow rather than curl up and wither. I may be returning home, but I don't want to go back to where I once was.
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