Being God's

Thursday 11 May

Well, Staffa was great fun--between the puffins close-up, the high hills so near to the sea, and singing in Fingal's Cave, I quite enjoyed it.

After the day was almost over, some of the other vollies at Cul Shuna noticed that I looked kind of down, and Lauren took me outside for a walk to talk. We ended up sitting on the windy jetty, which was chilly, but I didn't care. At that point, I proceeded to burst into tears and tell her all that had been on my mind. This included feeling un-unique, among the hated as an American, and feeling unnoticeable. She asked me where all this had come from, and I told her the story of my fears. She was so honest and encouraging and humble and didn't sugar-coat things in talking about life, but neither did she shortchange the amazingness of God's love. "What if it were true, that he loves you?" she said. She told me I was amazing, and that I was her friend. She said, "Be God's." Lauren is quite a wonderful person, and she actually said that her life has been made richer for knowing me.

The service this morning went great, and Rhiannon and I (we co-led) got lots of compliments. No really flub-ups or anything, and people seemed to especially like our prayers and the polished manner in which the whole service was presented.

Catherine, a new vollie in housekeeping with me, seems very nice. She names herself a writer, and doesn't have huge plans lined up anytime soon. Everyone here seems to be at a crossroads.